


bilgesnipes and pop-tarts

by illuminated_in_darkness



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 05:24:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8784898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illuminated_in_darkness/pseuds/illuminated_in_darkness
Summary: Jane Foster is dedicated to her science. Darcy Lewis is dedicated to Jane Foster. As such, they won't leave the labs. The combination of the aforementioned have unforeseen consequences.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is actually all fluff. Fluff. Fluff. More fluff. I ship Darcy with a variety of characters, but Tasertricks was admittedly the first. Thus it shall also be my first fanfiction posted to this website. Enjoy!

She thinks that it’s been four days since she slept, but all the long hours in the lab seem to blur together. Maybe that’s why they catch her and Jane completely off guard.

 

“Kidnapping!” she screeches and points her finger at her kidnapper indignantly, running around like a headless chicken. What can she use as a weapon? Darcy grabs the first thing she sees, which is an odd sample of bacteria---oh wait, that’s the Thai food from a week ago, excellent---and wards off her pursuer with the styrofoam container. She reasons that if the moldy and mildly toxic food does not throw him off, then the blood-curdling scraping of the styrofoam lids might damage his godly eardrums. He stands between her and the door, with his partner after Jane. Darcy has no qualms about throwing Jane to the wolves. Even with all of the shrieking and whatnot.

“I’m warning you, this stuff will kill you.” She remembers that she’s talking to a Norse god thousands of years older than her and clears her throat. “Probably.”

Loki eyes her with his patented look of distaste, eyebrows furrowing and nose flaring at the deliberate styrofoam crime she is committing.

“Gods cannot be killed by mere mortal food.”

Darcy snorts. “That’s not what you were saying when you ate that really hot Indian food.”

Loki’s expression shifts to a glare and she takes a step back, angling for the emergency exit. Because this totally qualifies as an emergency. Beyond a shadow of the doubt.

“Plus it’s not like I’m going to stuff this down your throat. That would be considered a cruel and unusual punishment. I should know, I'm a college grad with a political science degree." She nods sagely, vaguely wondering why he doesn't look more impressed. "Imma just toss it down your very clean armor that I know you spent ages polishing."

His scowl deepens so she tilts the carton towards him threateningly.

There is a moment of uneasy silence and she lowers the carton an inch. Is this what mutually assured destruction looks like?

“I’m warning you, dude,” she says just to let it sink in. But he’s the god of lies; of course he catches her bluff. Loki sighs and flicks his fingers. Lilac sparks fizzle from his nails and suddenly he is no longer standing in front of her. Darcy spins around desperately, sensing his presence behind her but one tap to her shoulder, some heeby-jeeby super complicated magic and she’s out like a bilgesnipe in the summertime.

Loki swoops his mortal into his arms, grimacing at the scent of that horrid mortal food. Darcy lets out a small snore, mouth ajar, and he smiles fondly before glancing over to where Thor is patiently laying out a Poptart trail on the ground in a shoddy attempt to lure his Jane. Thor notices his gaze and huffs, blonde strands of hair flying into his mouth. Hiding nearby in a corner, Jane whimpers for the loss of her strongest ally.

"Really, brother?"

“We can’t all have magical powers, Loki.”


End file.
